A Week of Random
7:27 AM
Oh man, the last week has been chaos guys!! My brother moved to the other side of the island into a new gorgeous place so I have been watching my eldest niece Kaliko a lot because she still goes to school on this side of the island because it didn't make much sense for her to have to transfer so late in the year. So it's been a lot of waking up early and transporting the littles here and there as my brother and sister in law get situated and organized. Needless to say, I'm tired.. Yawn. Though tiring, the week was a good and busy one. I even managed to squeeze in a pre-Mother's Day photo session at Waikiki Beach on Saturday. I took a ton of photos and so far have only edited one as you can see from the photo above. It was a truly magical evening at Waikiki Beach that I spent with my son and an old friend. A nice way to say aloha to the week past and welcome in Mother's Day.
I gave my mom a lovely card and fixed, restructured , cleaned and organized her pantry for her. It was a huge job I spent a ton of time doing on Saturday but she wanted it done so badly so I decided to give that to her as a Mother's Day present. It was a better present than anything I could have bought her. Seeing her pantry clean and organized is wonderful and seeing her face when I did the reveal was even more amazing. It was a big ol' mess guys.... like a cluttered, mess. You see, the pantry shelves were breaking after 10 years of use, hard use so she needed me to put new struts and supports to make the shelving sturdy enough to reorganize it. Pats self on the back. 'She has a huge pantry and I didn't take pictures except for the one you see above. Needless to say, it's a big improvement.
How was your Mother's Day? I had a pretty darn good one, spent the early part of the day praising Jesus at church and then the rest of the day with my son Alaka'i. We ended the night with my mom, dad, aunt, sister-in-law, brother and nieces having dinner at the Pacific Beach Hotel while mermaids swam. The kids loved it because of the big aquarium and desserts. The adults loved it because of the big buffet (even though I didn't really eat all that much because I'm on a diet). It was still delicious and wonderful.
I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful family and group of new friends. I pray so hard all the time for God to just reveal His plan for me because I feel like I'm in neutral sometimes so it's been quite a journey these last few weeks of really letting go and letting God work in my life. I've been quite challenged at times and blessed. The only "down side" to this week of chaos and having my son and nieces is the looks I get when I'm out with them alone. My nieces look enough like me in their own way to pass for my daughters and I get looks from people, especially older women. Looks of disapproval and judgement and they don't even know me, don't even give me the opportunity to explain that the boy is my son but the girl is my nieces. But I don't have to explain myself to them. Then I wonder, do I ever give looks like that without realizing it? Do I ever come off as judgemental even if I don't mean to be? It was an opportunity to look at myself in a whole new way and think about how the looks I may give people might affect them. I'm a people watcher myself so I notice the looks I get and man, it sucked being judged like that.
Being a single mom is lonely. Being a fat single mom... lonely. Though I'm working out and eating right now to fix my weight problem, it isn't an instant fix all. Plus, my weight loss is more centered around taking care of myself and my health so I'm around for many years to come. I often wonder if I'll ever find love. I must confess the view from where I sit on that front is looking rather gray but maybe it's just not God's plan for me. I fell in love and got pregnant by the first guy to tell me he loved me. I was terribly abused by him and thank God he's out of me and Alaka'i's life. I only had one boyfriend after him. Bleek. Hawai'i is full of these super gorgeous girls, in good shape and without kids. Guys have all these other opportunities to find girls they actually would want to be with and then there's me. LOL. I think it's also due to the fact that my day job, parenting and just not going out limits my alone time with adults... perspective. Whatever God's plan for me is, I'm just thankful for all the blessings I do have. I am quite fortunate and have a pretty awesome life so I need to quit feelin' bad for myself. But hey, girls tend to do that from time to time, get dramatic and emotional- at least once a month, ya know?
To all of you, I wish a happy and blessed Wednesday, whether it's a Wordless Wednesday or filled with words. Know that you are loved, you are wonderful and you are beautiful. Happy Wednesday! Tomorrow is the Big May Giveaway by the way.... $750 bucks!! So excited!This scripture always gives me comfort when I'm feeling lonely and down on things.
"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."
Jeremiah 29:11-13
Aloha,
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