Don't you just love those oh so precious moments with your child or children? Oh you know, those moments...frequent or rare as they may be, where your kid does something precious, something adorable, something sweet...without even realizing it or knowing anyone noticed. My son has many of those and though he doesn't realize I'm watching, I mostly always am... well sometimes...no always... and he doesn't even realize I'm watching him. Those are my favorite moments.
Alaka'i frequently has moments like these, where he's doing something quirky, cute or interesting that I find utterly precious, though he rarely notices that I noticed. Sometimes it's just the way he plays in the sun. When we hike or are outside, he often reaches for the light when he's playing.. It's something he's done since he was little and still does, and something I find utterly precious to watch.
Sometimes it's just watching him teach his younger cousins things like how to draw or how to build Legos or how to ride bikes. He does so with the most giving and generous heart, not realizing all the while that mommy is watching and taking note.
My Alaka'i though he's wiser than his 11 years of age, is still such an innocent and gentle soul, both traits in him that I've worked hard to cultivate and will foster in him forever. Though I hope that he maintains as much innocence and gentleness as possible in the years to come, I'm not deluded enough to think he'd remain my precious little boy forever. This seedy and crazy world we live in is bound to jade his gentle and innocent soul here and there but I hope that the values and lessons I've instilled in him will linger and maintain and be more prevalent than any of the evils he sees as he ages. Oh how I love my boy.
The other day he was watching E.T. while he was laying in rest from his bronchitis and I saw him sit up and start to wave his hands in the air as if he was conducting a symphony. It took me a few seconds to remember that I had just, a few days ago, been looking at old compositions I had written while in college (I was a music major..once upon a time).. and while I looked at my compositions, I could hear the melody flow through my mind and memory and my hands raised into the air as I conducted my symphony from memory to the empty room I stood in. So apparently, my son is watching me even when I don't realize it...funny how it goes around that way, isn't it? It's amazing how much your child picks up just from watching you, whether you realize it or not. I mean, I'm a geek, you know that, I told you about the geeky me not long ago... but I didn't realize my son had seen me in a geek-tastic moment and found it so interesting that he attempted to conduct his own symphony to the soundtrack the ever amazing John Williams composed.
I love that he was so interested in it that he decided to try it out himself when he thought I was in my office. Wouldn't it be amazing to see him compose music or conduct an orchestra someday? But I digress. I won't push my old dreams on him, he is free to choose the job he wants when he grows up, but I treasure the fact that he is interested in many of the same things that lit a fire within me growing up. Music was my life for most of my life. Though I don't have much time for it now, sad but true, I still treasure it. Listening to symphonic melodies, especially those so expertly composed and arranged by masters like John Williams, puts me in the best mood. It takes me back to a time and a dream I used to have of someday composing a symphony and hearing it play. Growing up has caused me to put that dream on the back burner...way, way back there... maybe someday.
Then again, maybe I'm already composing a symphony...not one with notes or chords, but one with a boy whom I love with all my heart, whom I have the distinct pleasure of watching grow every day.. I am writing a symphony of life with my son, my family, my photography, my blog, and all of you... and perhaps one day, off in the distance, I may compose an actual melodic symphony... perhaps. But until then, I so do enjoy these moments I have with my son and with all of you. Thank you for being a part of my symphony.
Aloha,
