In A Blink...2:19 PM
Every year seems to be passing by faster and faster as I get older but I suppose that's the "norm" in life as I've heard pretty much every person older than I express the same or similar sentiments. Life, doesn't it go by in just a blink? I swear, not that long ago I was sitting in my room of my old house with bright lavender walls, playing with Barbies and watching The Little Mermaid. Now I'm sitting here at my very grown up desk, playing a few minutes of hookie from my "day job" on my 31st birthday.
I don't know about you, but when I was growing up, I didn't quite envision my life this way. I didn't think that at the age of 31 I'd be a single mom to an 11 year old son let alone doing it by myself with no husband or pseudo father figure for my boy. I honestly thought that at this age, I would have been a practicing MD or perhaps a symphony composer... (more on that later) and that I would be newly married with a baby on the way with a loving and handsome husband.
I realize many of you are living that dream and boy oh boy, I envy you sometimes. Not that I'm not thankful for the life God gave me. I am quite blessed despite going down the wrong fork in the road quite a few times. I think it's the mistakes that shapes you into who you will become and boy, have I made mistakes in my life!! I love reading through so many of your blogs because I like seeing that there are happily married women my age with families and it gives me hope. As I sit here on my birthday, drinking down my veggie juice I made for lunch instead of eating what I really want (pizza...yum), I wonder if I'm ever going to get married, if there even is a "Mr. Right" out there for me... Blah this blog is taking a turn towards being a bummer and I really didn't want it to become that.
I'm actually in quite a good mood today, full of energy and hope. Today is not only my birthday, but my mom's birthday too. Yeah, she had me on her 28th birthday... some birthday present huh? She says I was a blessing to her but honestly, I don't know if I'd enjoy pushing a baby out on my birthday haha. But I digress. As I sit here pondering what life has in store for me, what my future hold and what God's plans for me in the years ahead are, I can't help but look at my life now and be thankful because I have a great life. Lonely at times, but still wonderful. Alaka'i is such an amazing son. I often feel like I'm not doing right by him because I don't have a father for him but I'd rather wait for the right guy than expose him to many Mr. wrongs.
Life. It goes by so quickly and it's so easy to take for granted. I took so many years for granted, I took my health for granted and now I'm working my butt off trying to correct all the wrongs I've done to my body by eating poorly and not getting enough exercise or nutrition. I think that this year is going to be so much more than just another year in my calender. It's going to be a year for change and overall growth and actually living my life. :)
Don't mind me, I'm just feeling pensive here as I sit at my desk taking a break from the hundreds of invoices I have to create today... Tonight is all about spending time with my son and working on the blog. Wow, isn't growing up like so exciting guys? LOL. One lesson I've learned as an adult and a parent is that children are the greatest blessing and a mother's work (whether she has a "day job" or not), is never done and it's the only job we truly love.
Hope you all are having a lovely Wednesday.