Like So Overly Perfect...

9:06 PM




Yes, that's me and my fat but thinning face making a ducky-ish face while I was playing around in my room last night.  (See the hint of a mess on my floor on the bottom left corner of the picture?)  I never EVER take photos of myself...like ever...

There's a really good reason I'm always behind the camera...it's because I'm super critical of my photos in general and super super critical of photos of myself.  I'm somewhat of a perfectionist.  When I clean things, they have to end up super clean or I will be upset about it and redo it.  When I take photos, I take shots until I get the one I envisioned or better and I edit them until they're perfect.  Call it a character flaw but I don't like to do anything half way.  

Sure, there are times where I slack and fail to meet my goals. Those are times where I procrastinate thinking about how I didn't do things the way I really wanted to because if I focused on it, I'd drive myself mad.  I am sometimes... no always like so overly perfect and by that I mean, I like things to be so overly perfect that I end up putting of writing, editing and doing tasks for the blog or my photography or even for day to day life things because the thought of not completing them to my satisfaction is hard for me to deal with sometimes. 

Do you guys ever get like that?  Have moments of sheer nit-picky, overperfecting madness that cause you to either get frustrated or put off doing it because you dread all the work it will take to get it done?  Lately I've been this way too much though I'm trying to give myself some slack and lighten up on how picky I am about everything I do.  Like honestly, I sometimes sit and read old posts I've set up to be published and nit-pick the grammar and punctuation so much I end up not posting it.  It's insanity!!  I think the reason it's been worse lately is because of my lifestyle change.  I'm less lazy and more physically active and a great offset of that is that my mind is clearer and I have more focus.  The bad side of that is the focus is being channeled into being overly critical of everything I do.  I think not being able to eat anything I want is a huge part of it because food was THE comfort I turned to constantly (hence my weight problem) so now that I no longer indulge in "comfort" food eating or emotional eating, I get more easily frustrated.  But I digress.  
I enjoy the obscure crappy iPhone photos I take now because every time I do, my fat face is getting narrower and my double chins are getting smaller.  I'm looking forward to the view of my face via obscure iPhone photos in the months to come.  Loving the change.  It's so worth it, even if I get a little critical of myself from time to time because of it.  I would like to take a full body photo in a cute, fashionable outfit and think that is like so overly perfect.  I don't know if that day will come but I'm hoping in the next year or so, it will.  

Hope you are all having a lovely weekend. 

Aloha,


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