The Anti-Bride....

2:47 AM


I'm getting married in a month.  No one is more excited than I am to start my life with the man I love more than anything.  Andrew is not only my best friend, but the best guy I know.  He's funny, talented, romantic, sweet, so caring and amazing.  I can't see my future without him in it... That's truly a statement I never thought I'd think let alone say out loud but it rings truer and truer every day.  Nothing about the way we came together can be considered ordinary.  We were best friends before we ever dated, we started dating and got engaged not long after and we are getting married only 3 months after getting engaged.  Well... we're not that abnormal I suppose.  Two of our friends who are leaders in our young adult group at our church also got engaged around the same time and have the same wedding date (January 4th).  I think to a lot of people we know, the entire relationship is kind of a whirlwind but I have never been more sure about anything in my life.

So what's the problem Jean?  Well... I'm kind of the anti-bride it seems.  As a photographer, I have shot weddings and had the opportunity to share the beautiful moments as a bride and groom start their lives together and it's all very romantic and lovely.  When I got engaged, I started looking up wedding venues and plans and man, I think I'm in the wrong business.  The wedding industry in Hawai'i is ridiculously expensive, they mark the price up so high that a "budget" wedding runs about $15K.  NOTHANKS. The more research I did, the less I wanted to even plan the wedding.  Did it make me not want to marry Andrew? No way!  I love him more today than I did the day he proposed.  But I turned into somewhat of an anti-bride.  There are thousands of websites dedicated to bridal etiquette and how to plan the perfect wedding but I could never bring myself to spend that kind of money on one day.  To me, the marriage is way more important than the wedding.  We are doing pre-marital counseling at our church and that's all going great and our relationship grows stronger every day.  I mean, look at Kim Kardashian's beautiful wedding to Kris Humphries that lasted all of 72 days.  The point: a beautiful wedding does not equal a happy marriage.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying a beautiful wedding equates to a divorce nor am I cutting down any bride who had a dream and made it happen.  I think weddings are amazing and beautiful ceremonies.  I just think the big wedding thing is not for me.  I have a huge family... and I'm not close to many of them.  The ones I'd want most at a traditional wedding (if I had one) would have had to fly from the mainland to come and it just costs too much.  Likewise for Andrew who's entire family is in the mainland.  So, we opted for an elope-ish style wedding.  Super small, immediate family... no fuss, little planning, kind of last minute (much to the dismay of my own mother and my future mother in law).  And yes, I do understand their want for the structured and planned wedding but I don't have the time or the energy to sit and plan every detail. In my mind, I have a dress, he's in a suit, we're on the beach... we get married and we go eat at a nice restaurant.  That would be perfect.

My mom kind of got really irritated with me today because she wants me to postpone my wedding so we can "actually plan it" since I haven't really done anything but start wedding counseling.  But she just doesn't get it. Whether she wants me to or not, I am getting married to Andrew and if that's on the beach in a sun dress, then that's what it will be.  We were supposed to go wedding dress shopping but I work full time and when I want to go, she all of a sudden has a ton of stuff to do.  Interesting.  Truth be told, if I had more time the wedding would be much more planned and structured but I don't.... and honestly, weddings aren't my thing... never have been.  I'm happy with something super small and simple. 

Nothing makes me happier than the thought of Andrew and I starting our life together.  I think even if I had planned the date myself, planned out a wedding and so on... I still would have been an anti-bride and my mom would have planned the wedding more than I would have because it's just so not me... not at all.  It's almost 3 am and I'm up writing this on a whim.  Sometimes the most honest and amazing posts come when you're up alone in the middle of the night, don't you agree? 

From this anti-bride to all of you, I wish you a very happy week(end)!

xo,


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