Hey You!3:43 AM
Hey you! I wanted to tell you something!! And no, it's not about my daughter Arielle being a total ham, even though she is... No this is about YOU. Yes, YOU. Do you know how special you are? How precious you are? Yes, you are!!! Don't argue with me!
In all seriousness, I just felt the urge to write and share with each and every one of you that you are wonderful and special and perfect just the way God made you. When I was out the other day, I heard a little girl tell her mom that she was a "fat ugly pig" and she believed it because someone had told her that. What I saw was a beautiful, hurting, precious little girl so injured by the sharp and harsh words of a hateful peer that she believed it. I was her. Sometimes I still am. I am working on losing weight, working out, and getting in shape after baby and it is not easy. In this society where self image is so warped, it's all too easy for a person, whether they're a child or an adult, to believe the lies being told to them by the media, by television, by magazines, and by the music industry. Beauty is relative. What's beautiful to one person is not beautiful to another. The influx of celebrities everywhere, all the time, gives women, men and children an unrealistic ideal of what beauty is. It's unfair to place that kind of expectation and pressure on people. That poor little girl, I wanted to go up to her and hug her and reassure her that it wasn't just her mom that thought she was beautiful, that she truly is beautiful. I didn't though because well, her mom would have probably thought I was some crazy random woman bugging them. LOL.
I struggle with self image issues too.. That's when I have to remind myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). God made us all perfect and beautiful before we were even born. Regardless of whether you believe in God or not, you are perfect just the way you are. I am a photographer (well more of a hobbiest these days since I don't have time), and I prefer to be behind the camera taking the photos instead of in front of it. I often duck out of family photos and photo ops. It's just who I am, an introvert with self image issues that I am working on slowly day by day. Vlogging is something my family and I are doing to keep an online diary of sorts for our relatives in the mainland US up to date on how Arielle and Alaka'i are doing. All of Andrew's family is in Nevada so it's hard for them not being around to see Arielle grow up and I have so much family in Washington, vlogging is such a wonderful tool to keep in touch with your relatives and loved ones. The downside is that I often look tired and unmade because I'm vlogging my day to day life. Even when I have makeup on, I watch the footage and cringe at my fat face and double chin. I cut footage of myself because, why would anyone want to see my fat face anyway? Right?! Well I had a harsh reality check when I was thinking this while editing tonight and then I remembered that girl from this weekend. Would I tell her to cut footage of her face? No!!! Why am I doing it to myself?!
Therein lies the problem. It's not just peers, bullies, and the media cutting us down, WE ARE DOING IT TO OURSELVES!! We are victims of our own warped perceptions of beauty. What a sobering reality check that was for me. I have been my own worst enemy for years and I allowed the bullies and media to make me believe that I was this ugly, fat beast. I thought I was unlovable for years, for decades. Then I met Andrew and he proved that what the Bible says is right, that I am beautiful and lovable... Andrew sees me and says I'm beautiful and I can't see it. Not at all. We all need to take a look in the mirror and remind ourselves that we are beautiful. Even if we don't believe it, we have to keep reminding ourselves that we are beautiful, even if we cringe when we say it. We need to stop allowing the world around us convince us that we are unworthy or subpar. We are perfectly imperfect and even the plastic "beautiful" people have flaws they don't allow us to see.
I am going to be vlogging, even though I dread seeing footage of myself on the web for anyone to see. It's a digital memory book for my family and I don't want my children to grow up hating themselves or the way they look. I'm also going to work on getting healthy because I'm not right now. Diet changes and working out are on the agenda for the summer. I need to get myself back in to shape and healthy so I can live a long life with my husband and children.
Being HEALTHY is what matters. Healthy isn't just your size, weight, BMI, it's your state of mind. Join me in getting healthy, in loving yourself. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, you are precious, you are perfect just the way you are!! Even if you feel unloved, isolated, alone, in pain... you are LOVED, you are TREASURED, you are UNIQUE and beautiful. Don't ever forget that!!
Arielle wanted me to remind you all about that when she was making these funny faces at me when I was feeling down about the way I looked. It brightened my day up, I hope it does the same to yours.