In the aftermath of the recent tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary, I've been thinking a lot about life, love and how to treat other people.  Watching the news lately has become so hard to do as they stream photos of the little children who were brutally murdered and the teachers who were murdered or injured trying to save them.  As a mother, it breaks my heart to even try to imagine how the parents of those precious babies feel right now... Why would something like this happen? What could possibly cause a young man to perform such an evil act?  There's a lot of speculation about the assailant and his alleged motive and I'm not going to touch on that right now because to be honest, the news media really doesn't know for sure why he did what he did...and I'm not sure they ever will.

Sometimes it takes a terrible tragedy to make a person take a look at his/her life and what's truly important. In the larger scheme of things, the "day jobs" and stresses of this life are secondary to the loved ones who make your life worth living.  Even before the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary, I had been contemplating life and taking those moments to spend with loved ones because amidst the hustle and bustle of it all, it's the moments with those we love that make all the bad moments bearable.

It would be nice to live in a perfect world, wouldn't it?  Sadly we are just imperfect people living in a world full of bad, unable to control the actions of others.  We can, however, control our own actions and do good in the world to help offset all the bad around us and make a difference, however small it may seem.  Whether it's donating to a charity or donating time to your community, church or another worthy cause, there is always something you can do to make the world a little better, a little brighter.

I consider myself to be a good person, flawed but good.  I make mistakes, big and small yet I strive to be the best person I can be.  It's hard to live as a Christian sometimes in this fallen world because of all that is out there to tempt or to cause one to sin.  I fall prey to it every now and then... and I get really hard on myself when I do but it's so important to remember that we all make mistakes and we all fall short.  I donate about 15% of my income to several organizations and churches that I feel called to donate to.  I also donate time to my church and community so that I can give back.  It's so important to me that I teach my son Alaka'i that life isn't always about what you can get, it's also about what you can give.

There are so many ways to give back, listing them would take me hours upon hours to do.  Not everyone can afford to give money to causes that are dear to their hearts... In fact, some months are quite tight in my budget because of the organizations I give to but I count it all as blessings at the end of the day and somehow find a way to make it work.  I was talking with Alaka'i about the "Aloha Spirit" yesterday and how to share that love with others, even if we don't know them.  Sometimes a mere smile can brighten up a person's mood or turn their day around.  A kind word or gesture can make quite the difference to someone who feels utterly alone or depressed.  Being mean isn't always something that is done on purpose either.  Sometimes you can inadvertently do something that hurts some one's feelings and not realize you've done so until it's brought to your attention (which is something I've recently experienced).  Knowing your actions or words hurt someone even though you didn't mean for it to, really makes you "check" yourself on the words you use and the actions you take.  I have to constantly remind myself to think carefully before I write, say or do anything and to consider all points of view so that no one's feelings get hurt.  To be considerate of others is not the easiest thing to do.. I know from experience.

I try my best to teach my son to live thoughtfully and to be kind in every situation, even when it seems impossible to do so.  To not only show the aloha spirit, but to live it.  Alaka'i was asking me about what exactly the "Aloha Spirit" was.  In Hawai'i, there is this movement called "LIVE ALOHA".  You see bumper stickers on hundreds of cars with that saying on it.  It's all about treating people with aloha, with kindness, with love.

Did you know that the Aloha Spirit actually is a law in Hawai'i?

The Aloha Spirit Law is an ACTUAL law "on the books" in Hawai`i, encoded in the Hawai`i Revised Statutes, section 5-7.5 and acknowledges that The Aloha Spirit " was the working philosophy of native Hawaiians and was presented as a gift to the people of Hawai`i."  All citizens and government officials of Hawai`i are obligated by law to conduct themselves in accordance with this law, while performing their duties and obligations, as well as in their day-to-day living. Likewise, those visiting our fair islands are expected to conduct themselves in accordance with this Hawaiian law.

The Aloha Spirit elevates, empowers and ennobles its people, and keeps Hawai`i the uniquely special place that it is. As a model law for the world, it can serve the greatest number for its greatest good.  Together, we can make The Aloha Spirit as vibrant and real as it was for those who came before us. Those who have experienced The Aloha Spirit have an obligation to make it real for those who follow. Let it begin with you.

Full Text of  THE ALOHA SPIRIT LAW  [§5-7.5] The Aloha Spirit.

(a) The Aloha Spirit is the coordination of mind and heart within each person. It brings each person to the Self. Each person must think and emote good feelings to others. In the contemplation and presence of the life force, Aloha, the following unuhi laulâ loa (free translation) may be used:

A - Akahai, meaning kindness to be expressed with tenderness;

L - Lôkahi, meaning unity, to be expressed with harmony;

O - `Olu`olu, meaning agreeable, to be expressed with pleasantness;

H - Ha`aha`a, meaning humility, to be expressed with modesty;

A - Ahonui, meaning patience, to be expressed with perseverance.

These are traits of character that express the charm, warmth and sincerity of Hawaii's people. It was the working philosophy of native Hawaiians and was presented as a gift to the people of Hawaii.  Aloha is more than a word of greeting or farewell or a salutation.  Aloha means mutual regard and affection and extends warmth in caring with no obligation in return.  Aloha is the essence of relationships in which each person is important to every other person for collective existence.

Aloha means to hear what is not said, to see what cannot be seen and to know the unknowable.

(b) In exercising their power on behalf of the people and in fulfillment of their responsibilities, obligations and service to the people, the legislature, governor, lieutenant governor, executive officers of each department, the chief justice, associate justices, and judges of the appellate, circuit, and district courts may contemplate and reside with the life force and give consideration to The Aloha Spirit. [L 1986, c 202, §1]

I know it seems silly and it is never enforced but isn't it a great gesture?  To suggest that people treat others well every day of the year, to show and Live Aloha.  It's easier said than done, believe me.

I invite you all to try this with me.  Let's all try to be kind, loving and generous with each other, even if the other person doesn't deserve it.  To live as Jesus lived (whether you believe in Him or not).  To follow the Golden Rule of "Treat others the way you want to be treated", is what it means to truly Live Aloha.  It only takes a second out of your day to smile at someone who looks sad or down, to offer help to a person who is struggling or in need, to take a moment to back away from the computer to spend that "quality time" with your loved one... Take those moments because dear friends, none of us know how long we have on this world to live.   We take life and the loved ones in it for granted.  Let's stop taking it for granted and be thankful for it and show others love and kindness, especially during the Christmas/Holiday Season.

Join me, will you?  Share with me how you try to live aloha, how you have tried or will try to make a difference (however big or small it is) in the life of another.

Aloha and all my love to you all,